LESSON 9: KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS AND SEEK HEALING
A loaded gun does no harm until its trigger is pulled; releasing a bullet that can cause harm. This is very similar to trauma triggers, without encountering them, you’re partially good.
These triggers are books, events, places, smells and sounds that reminds you of the loved one you’ve lost.
For me, certain novels and songs remind me of my brother because we’d read those novels and listened and sang along to those songs. Seeing his empty bed and our wardrobe without his clothes hanged were additional triggers.
Seeing the Zumuntan Mata sing and dance in church without Mama at her usual spot in front was hard to see. Going into my parents room brought floods of memories.
Since canopies were set up to accommodate visitors after Goddy’s demise, seeing canopies set up when I came back home from Zaria made me unstable as it was a symbol of bad news to me.
Obituary and burial posts on Facebook make me upset. Hearing people say RIP annoy me. I intentionally avoid going to any house that are in mourning because the mood and tears make me unable to breath properly.
However, knowing your triggers is not enough, you have to take it a step further by intentionally seeking healing.
Personally, I wasn’t aware of my triggers nor the fact that losing my loved ones had traumatised me until I had the opportunity to attend a trauma response training in 2021. That was when I got to understand the intricacies of trauma and how healing is important for one’s overall well being.
For the first time since the deaths, I had the opportunity to talk about the incidents, articulate my pain in words, and seek help to deal with the underlaying pains. I got to understand that I had to be healed from my personal trauma’s before I could be an effective caregiver to others.
As I got aware of my traumas and worked towards personal healing, it was easier to go through the subsequent trainings (Trauma and the people I love; Trauma and my community) and to offer support to others around me who needed support to begin their own healing journeys.
Healing is not a linear journey; some days would definitely be better than others especially when you encounter your triggers but, with God’s help, counselling, and personal determination you will be healed.
I am living proof of these and the few people I have rendered caregiving support to can also attest to the impact realisation and accepting help has on healing.
Healing doesn’t mean the pain will go away instantly or the memories will be eroded but you’ll definitely feel better and breath easier.
PPBlessing 