LESSON 8: DON’T SHUT PEOPLE OUT
One of the mistakes I made that I see a number of grieving people make is shutting people out. You feel like you just want to be left alone to have some ‘me time’ and mourn in peace right?
Wrong! Human beings are biologically social creatures, we thrive and exists better in a supportive environment with other humans that we can interact with.
And no, it doesn’t change irrespective of your temperament or zodiac sign. WE ALL NEED SOMEONE OR PEOPLE especially when we are grieving.
When I lost my brother, I completely zoned out. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone and I didn’t want anyone coming close to offer comfort. I chested everything and moved on.
But the mere mention of the name Godwin brought me close to tears for years afterwards. I had deep seated pain that just wouldn’t go away.
When Mama died, I was also stuck in a “no one will understand what I’m feeling zone” so, once again, I shut everyone out but, some few people kept being available even when I outrightly ignored them, avoided their calls or just won’t reply to their messages.
Special shout to Titus Anthony, Pamela Nana Yakubu, Zawah Joseph Ibrahim, Wase Solomon Tor, Abah Gabriel Ejeh, and my B3 family Yipah Reuben, Annah Ishaku Birma, Nana Feddy, Asmau M Kabir, Favour Adama and Khadija Salisu for being a strong support during that dark period.
Overtime, I realised that their been there for me despite my unpleasant attitude made going through the pain a little bit easier. Hence when I lost my niece, I gladly allowed my friends to be there for me and comfort me.
If you’re still dealing with the pain of losing a loved one, please allow the people that care about you to be there for you. Don’t shut them out, you need their presence now more than ever.
PPBlessing 