LESSON 5: BOTTLING YOUR EMOTIONS DOES YOU NO GOOD
Bottling your emotions or being ‘strong’ after losing a loved one is one of the most dangerous things you can do to yourself. Just like a boiling pot of kunun gyada on fire, if you don’t open the lid to let out some steam (emotions) you’ll boil over and lose most of yourself in the fire.
Due to my denial after Goddy’s demise, I bottled up all the pain and hurt I felt. It was after I saw him at the mortuary that the flood gates were opened and I cried for days. That brought some form of relief albeit for a short time.
For Mama, I cried when Aunty Babba informed me of her demise and kept lamenting about how she’d left too early to any and everyone who cared to listen all through my journey from Zaria until I got home to Jalingo.
Actively expressing my pain before I got home give me the strength I needed all through the burial preparations until I got terribly disappointed by her not waking up and zoned into full blown emotional shutdown afterwards 😅
For Praise, I cried for days when her Dad informed me of her demise. It was so surreal and I didn’t fully believe the news until I saw the burial pictures all over Facebook.
In all of these, I have learnt that not crying or holding back your emotions will only drag you deeper into the pain and if not carefully handled, lead to depression.
So shed all the tears you want and shout as loud as your lungs will allow, at the end of the day only you know the kind of pain you’re feeling so let no one tell you how to express your emotions.
It’s your pain, express it however you choose but please, don’t hurt yourself in the process. This too shall pass 🤗
PPBlessing 