There are days I wake up and go all out -exercise, affirmations, reading, writing, smiling, reaching out to friends and family- the whole nine yards and even more. On such days, I’m pumped up, fully ready to actualize all my dreams and put in all the hard work but not everyday is like that even though I wish it is. On other days, I’m unmotivated, tired, irritable and sometimes hopeless. My dreams, vision and goals seem too far off, a cataclysmic mixture of nothing.
Yesterday I was a happy and satisfied man, my company which I’d been struggling with for the past fifteen years of my life had a turn around; when Chief called to say my bid for the contract was approved some months ago, I wasn’t moved, not because it wasn’t exciting news but because I’ve heard that line one time too many only to be told at the last minute that “something came up and we can’t use your company,” in that patronizing tone they always use.
When the down payment got paid, I was still skeptical, I didn’t even inform Laura about it until when we’d worked on the project for a month, I’d raised her hopes high too often without any result at the end and I didn’t want to do that to her again. When the contract was completed and commissioned, I got my balance with which I was finally able to complete the house we’d been building for eight years without meaningful improvements. It was as if my company had been unveiled and placed on Mount Everest for all to see, clients were pouring in like a flood.
Soon, I had branches in all the major cities in the country, family meetings were no longer started without me, even Uncle George who said nothing good will come out of my life now calls me sir. The person that said “money dey stop nonsense” knew what he was talking about. Friends who had deserted Laura and I started coming back and forming “love.”
Life was good and enjoyable until this morning when I woke up to hear that the President and all State Governors had been ousted by the terrorists. It was a well planned and executed act, the country was in chaos and to send their message home to the citizens, they went about on rampage, “cleansing” they called it. Razing down down houses, businesses, parastatals, offices, schools, financial institutions and every other structure they deemed not inline with their plans for the country. By evening, a lot of people, myself inclusive went back to nothingness.
It’s morning, I’m unmotivated, tired, irritable and hopeless. My dreams, vision and goals once achieved have gone back to being a cataclysmic mixture of nothing.
PPBlessing 