PPBlessing

LESSON 2: BE INTENTIONAL

When you lose a loved one to death, the most painful part is mostly remembering that there are a lot of things you wanted to do with them or say to them before they died that you didn’t get to do.

I still remember the ‘I love you my sister’ note that my brother Goddy left for me in my Bible when he left for school. I took it as one of those thoughtful things he always does but I didn’t bother telling him I saw the note 😅

In the morning of the day he died, I was there when they spoke with Baba but I didn’t bother speaking with him because I’d concluded I’ll call him in the evening when he was done from school but guess what? He didn’t see the evening 🥹

I was pained that I never got to tell him how important he was to me before he died.

For Mama, I kept planning to do something fabulous for her when I blow 😅; like taking her and Baba on a vacation or gifting her a car. But again, it was jokes on me.

For Praise, I’d envisioned seeing her become a global name through music and/or dance because she did them effortlessly and exceptionally but the funny part is I never told her how good she in singing and dancing.

Losing these dear ones taught me to value my family and friends and to be intentional with my actions and words. It taught me to do little things for my loved ones instead of waiting for the ‘big things’ that may not come.

I am big on giving people their flowers while the can smell them so I look for every opportunity to let my loved ones know that I love and value them. That way, whenever death comes calling, I’m sure I wouldn’t be left with a ton of unuttered love, appreciation or actions.

LESSON 1: AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

There is no time that the saying, “age is just a number” truer than in death. Growing up, I had the notion that old people are the only ones that die until life threw me a hard punch and showed me otherwise.

That Wednesday, 8 June 2011 started like every other day until my sister, Cecelia received a call with the person telling her that “Goddy tsar.”

When I heard that, my first thought was, “go look for him na.” Until the person clarified by saying “A tsar ku.” Kpesh! It was unbelievably funny to me because in my mind, I had conjured up a thousand and one reasons why it was ‘imposicant’ for a 23 year old healthy young man to just die like that.

But alas, death didn’t think of his age when it came knocking. It took him in a surprisingly sudden way, we were told he went to church after lectures to pray. He knelt at the altar to pray and after he was done and stood up, he slumped and that was it. 🥹

My niece, Praise’s death was an even worst reiteration that age is just a number as far as death is concerned. She was only 13 when she died on 12 October 2017.

I was livid that death could snatch such a little girl who had her whole life ahead of her but guess what? Death didn’t care, it took her anyway. It was like it looked me in the face and laughed saying “Jokes on you Shagba, I’ll take whoever I take irrespective of age.”